Gwyneth Paltrow plagiarized the fictitious "ancient Chinese" practice of vaginally inserted jade eggs UPDATED

Gwyneth Paltrow's insanely profitable empire of quack remedies has had some serious lowlights: it wasn't just squirting coffee up your asshole, or vaginal steaming and smoothie dust: really, the lowest of the lowlights was a concerted effort to convince women to insert $66 jade eggs into their vaginas because, supposedly, this was a widespread practice from 'ancient China.'

Update: An earlier version of this article credited Ms Paltrow with inventing the fictitious ancient Chinese practice of keeping jade eggs in one's vagina; it turns out that this legend was plagiarized from other sources.'

This is at least three kinds of stupid:

1. It's an appeal to antiquity: 'the misconception that ancient practices or beliefs are superior to modern ones (related to appeal to authority and appeal to tradition).'

2. It's racist, casting 'ancient Chinese' as a kind of mystical elf who could access all kinds of wisdom thanks to their fey bloodlines.

3. It endangers women's lives: 'Jade is porous so leaving the egg in one's vagina during sleep could allow bacteria to get inside and cause bacterial vaginosis or even Toxic Shock Syndrome, a life-threatening complication caused by bacterial infections.'

But now, we know about a fourth way in which it is stupid (which, honestly, I think everyone had guessed, but now we have proof): people in China didn't put jade eggs in anything, ever.