Dramatic reading of wank shame scam spam sent to Boing Boing's corporate inquiries email helpline

It's always good to have something to blog about first thing Monday morning.

TO:inquiries@boingboing.net
Hi, victim.
I write you because I buried a malware on the web page with porn which you have viewed.
My virus captured all your private info and switched on your webcam which recorded the process of your masturbation. Just after that the malware saved your contact list.
I will erase the compromising video and info if you pay me 350 EURO in bitcoin.
This is address for payment: 16aFnAAFfeq4BhL98P8LAoaviUaYp7oTSr
I give you 30h after you open my message for making the transaction.
As soon as you read the message I'll see it immediately.
It is not necessary to tell me that you have sent money to me. This wallet address is connected to you, my system will delete everything automatically after transfer confirmation.
If you need 48 hours just Open the calculator on your desktop and press +++
If you don't pay, I'll send dirt to all your contacts.
Let me remind you-I see what you're doing!
You can visit the police station but nothing can't help you.
If you attempt to cheat me, I'll know it right away!
I don't live in your country. So nobody can not track my location even for 9 months.
bye. Don't forget about the disgrace and to ignore, Your life can be ruined.
It turns out that the ESL Shame Wizard is randomly-generated! Our customer service email helpline received one with a slightly different wording:
Hi, victim.
I write you because I put a virus on the web site with porno which you have viewed.
My virus captured all your personal data and turned on your camera which captured the act of your onanism. Just after that the malware saved your contact list.
I will delete the compromising video records and info if you pay me 555 EURO in bitcoin.